Ode to my toaster, so shiny and clean
You’re the butterknife's foe, you're the bread's trampoline
You're the lightest, the darkest, the coolest and proud
You’re the jack-in-the-box of the countertop crowd.
In the old days you had a side entrance instead
You were far more ornate as a true thoroughbred
But now you're a box with a push-button trick
You're a bit more convenient, but a little too slick.
And if that weren't sufficient to cause you some shame,
There's your bullying arch-rival muscling in on your game
They say big toaster-ovens are "double the tool"
They can brown up a bagel and reheat your gruel.
But don't be discouraged, I still think you're swell
You do do one thing, but you do that thing well
And though fancy new gizmos might stir up a yen, remember
Your name still pops up, every now and again.
Comments [9]
I refer, of course, not to the profound man of letters, but to the spokesappliance for Pop-Tarts.
04.21.08
07:16
Ode to camping toaster
a 200 gram roaster
you slide in the rucksack
both the plate and the rack
You are stainless, yet tarnished
proof of energy harnessed
four copper shapes the goods you will hold
crud, I lost one, oh well, three slices of gold
Star patterned holes, heat you diffuse
double as a strainer if that equipment I lose
and if need be, you, too, work in the home
over the stove where no buffalo roam
no cord or no plug or electrical wire
just place over the heat from last night's fire
no need to worry that the sourdough can be burned
relax and unwind you're experienced and learned
04.21.08
07:42
04.22.08
01:45
04.22.08
09:10
04.22.08
10:25
04.22.08
12:50
He's never to his toaster said:
“You are my friend; I see in you
An object sturdy, staunch, and true;
A fellow mettlesome and trim;
A brightness that the years can't dim.”?
Then let us praise the brave appliance
In which we place this just reliance.
And offer it with each fresh slice
Such words of friendship and advice
As “How are things with you tonight?”
Or “Not too dark but not too light.”
-Thomas Disch "The Brave Little Toaster"
04.22.08
02:15
Sadly neglected, unused
Behold, the Foreman.
04.22.08
02:44
04.28.08
05:28